Why we love children

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room... When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked..
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning...'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible... He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED

Your aspiration is your motivation,

your motivation is your belief,

your belief is your peace,

your peace is your target,

your target is heaven,

and life is like hard core torture without it!

A Relationship of another kind

Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?

They blink together,

they move together,

they cry together,

they see things together,

and they sleep together,

but they never see each other;

....that's what friendship is.

Thinking.........just thinking

I am a planner.  My Seaside Friend will attest to that.  Yep I plan in advance, yet I can be impulsive.
As I age I am continuously reminded that I am doing just that - aging.  As many of you  know, we have had our share of funerals in the last number of years.   I have already made note of  a few things that I would prefer not to have done during and for my memorial service. You are thinking rather morbid,  right?  Well, the way I look at it is that this way my family doesn't have as much to worry about.  The way I figure it, the more I have written down, the less they have to try to 'get in my head'.  Land help them.  There are days when even I don't want in my head!!
I have also chosen my casket and some songs that I like. Included is a note of where I would like them placed in the service.  Oh and speaking of service, I don't want a sermon.  Try to say some nice things about me for heavens sake, but please no sermon.
Thinking............just thinking.

My mom taught me well.

It's been just over 6 months now since I have gotten my contacts.    My mom taught me well  - I still have days when I can't put my finger on my eye.  Thanks mom! 
I really should have done this years ago.  No more fogging up when coming in from the cold. No more need of  'wipers' on a rainy day. And best of all - no more nose prints. But shh, we won't tell mom about those - that will be our little secret.  I can even wear 'real' sunglasses for the first time since the 7th Grade. That's been a day or two ago I can tell ya! But more on that later.  There are days though, when I can't get my earrings in either.  I wonder if that's a sign?

 'til the next time I 'see' you,
Shelley

Life's like that

"A farmer in Waterloo County once showed me a peculiar phenomenon. We were standing in his barnyard near a cow and her new calf. He walked over and stood between them, edging the calf away from it's mother. The cow became visibly anxious as the distance increased, and in spite of being weary she came truding forward in her calf's direction. The farmer lifted the calf off the ground, cradling it with one arm under it's rump and the other under it's neck. He lifted it maybe six inches. The cow suddenly stopped and gazed around in bewilderment. She could no longer recognize her own calf, she had lost it. As soon as the farmer set the calf's feet on the ground, she saw it again even though it was still in the farmer's embrace". **Taken from 'Still Waters' by John Moss**
While reading this passage it struck me that we so often think of cows as being stupid. For example, how many times have you had to stop and wait for a cow to get out of the road or to move at all for that matter? My Great Uncle Jimmy had cattle when I was a kid - man they were stubborn! 'course so were he and I.
Where I was going with this is this... although we think of cows as being confused easily aren't we as humans the same in a lot of ways? How many times have you been looking for a particular item only to find it right there in front of you? All you may have done was moved an object beside it. Sometimes, we lose our way even when there appears to be 'signs' and definite direction. Life's like that.